I stopped using Livejournal a few months ago because it contained things that I don't think I'll ever want to think of again. Seeing as almost everything has been sorted now I thought I'd start a new journal so I can remember things I've done in the future.
There we go!
It's going to be friends only again because I'm not liking the idea that anyone who's anyone can read journals and profile [myspace especially]. There's also a couple of people who I'd prefer knew nothing about what goes on in my life. These don't include Fionn because even though we don't talk much anymore for obvious reasons, I still regard him as one of my friends. That's all I'm going to say on the matter of privacy because the people in question do not even deserve a mere second of my attention. They can burn in hell [hopefully]
I've realised it's going to be weird using this thing again after so long, I've forgotten how to make stuff shorter with links and all that jazz, so forgive me if this does come across as just random rambles.
Here goes..
I've been thinking about a hell of a lot recently, especially over the last few days. All my assessed work has been handed in for uni so that's a big weight off my chest but I've been stressing about other, silly things. I've been pretty down about my course, particularly spanish. I hate it, I have no enthusiasm whatsoever for it and I couldn't think of anything worse than spending 6 months there studying. I'm going to go on Monday to the advice place and BEG them to let me change to single honours German. It's obvious to anyone how much I love German and having to do spanish (<-- doesnt deserve a capital) is really depressing me. Thats enough about that anyway for now, we'll have to see how it goes on Monday.
Another thing on my mind has been whether I do actually feel emotions like everyone else. I'm not being hormonal because of course I feel emotions but I wonder sometimes whether they're the same as everyone elses. I dont know if because of what I've seen growing up and where I come from. whether it has made me a "hard" person. Often I find it difficult to talk to people about how I exactly feel and recently I've found it so difficult to cry. There have been plenty of oppourtunites for me to have cried but it's just not happened. Maybe that's a normal part of growing up. Again, I think this is the remains of my paranoia lingering at the back of my mind so I'm going to try and not worry about it too much.
Theres so much going on in my head at the moment that its difficult to try and get it all out in a coherent way. Like what is most important?
Liverpool is starting to grow on me as a city, it's still not London or Glasgow but it's not as bad as I thought it would be. I've not been to many places yet as I don't go out that often but over time I think I'll start to love it. I very much hope so anyway.
My plan for tomorrow is to go in to town and get Maggie and Chrys' christmas present, I'm thinking something for the garden would be a good idea, for the new house. Think it's about my bedtime now but I might give my room a bit of a tidy first.
Well that was my first entry of my new journal. 100% sex, drugs and alcohol free, have I changed or what over the last year?
..think thats a topic for next time..
xxx
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bored
chipper
tired